Monday, March 28, 2011

The Bittersweet Will of God

There is a huge difference between God's will and asking for God's blessing upon man-made plans: We unearth God's will only when we submit our will to Christ's. This is a horribly painful process, for it requires us to die. We must die to every dream, hope and ambition of our making. In adoration and praise we must break our alabaster jar of perfume at the feet of Jesus. We must surrender all to Him.

This is so much easier said than done. My pursuit of Christ is often conditional. I will follow You, Jesus, if...

Do I, however, want the gifts or do I want the Giver? What truly is my treasure?

Surrender is so intimately connected with trust. We can only give Jesus our lives if we believe He is faithful. We can only give Jesus our lives if we believe He works for our good in all things.

When I reflect on the times in my life when I was not walking in surrender—when I was not submitting my will to Christ's—I can blatantly see a root of distrust. I did not believe Christ would work for my good. I did not believe His will and timing were better than my own. Consequently, I took life into my own hands, and without fail this always led to brokenness and heartache.

Though I remain faithless Jesus remains faithful, and slowly He is teaching me the joy and beauty of surrender. He is showing me I can trust Him with my heart. He is showing me His plans are always better than anything I could plan for myself.

Jesus knows my heart better than I know my heart. He knows what makes it break. He knows what makes it come alive. He knows my fears. He knows my doubts. I can enter into His presence and freely acknowledge all to Him. With tears I can tell Him how little faith I have. With tears I can give Him my heart and offer Him my life. With tears I can submit my will to His.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
-Psalm 51:16-17

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